Heart for Japan

It's been a few days since the earthquake and tsunami hit Japan, but it is far from over!  They have had over 120 aftershocks, the last one at 7.6, which is no light little bump in itself!  The nuke plant being unstable, is not helping things either!  It seems like the news from there keeps getting worse and worse, and the death toll keeps climbing higher, and more places are found to have been wiped out completely! I watch and read, and sit here with a broken heart for the people of Japan.  To know that their lives that day, March 11th started out normally, and within minutes, everything was gone, including family members, homes, cars, all swept away, so fast!  You watch the videos on tv of big tanker ships, planes, cars, houses, all being tossed around, and floating away, nothing can stop it!  The fear, panic, chaos, horror, sadness, etc  that those people faced that day, and definately in the days, months and years to come...I don't think we could ever truly understand!

There so much that we in this country take for granted!  Do we really understand, or percieve just how fortunate we are to live where we do?  Are we grateful that nothing like this has ever happened to us?  What would you do, and how would you feel if you were the one in Japan who lost everything, a young child losing her parents, a parent losing their child?  Do we look the other way and say "well, it's over there, it has nothing to do with me.", or "Thats terrible for them in Japan, now who is winning the game."  It angers me and saddens me to see how insensitive some people are to the suffering of others in this world, simply because they don't know them, or they live on the other side of the world.  Who cares people!!!!  It doesn't matter where someone lives, whether you know them or not,  in the grand scheme of things, those people in Japan, they are just like you and me, human beings on this planet, trying to survive, now more then ever before, who need support, encouragement, prayers, and to know that someone cares!  Don't we all need that from time to time?  I know I have! 

Maybe my heart is overly sensitive to the people of Japan and what is going on there because of my personal loss with the Tsunami in Indonesia and the earthquake in Haiti.  I grieve for them, and with them. I pray for them and with them. What about you??  

"Father God, be with the country of Japan, with the people there, and around the world, searching for answers and loved ones. Let people come to You through this tragedy. Help them to rebuild, and come out stronger from all this. I pray that we, as Christians, would not have a deaf ear to the crys of your people there, or their suffering, but to do whatever we can, even if it is just to pray. Give us compassion! Give us your heart, and your love for those people! They are your children! Help us to remember that while we may be here in Canada, or the USA, or wherever we are, in our cozy homes and eating food on the table, with our loved ones around us, to stop and think of those in Japan who have suffered such loss that we can't even fathom! Give us humility in these times Lord, and remind us to be thankful for what we have, and not take it for granted.
 In Your Name Dear Jesus, Amen!"

Thoughts on Earthquake & Tsunami of 2011

"Tragedy reminds us that love is wasted unless it's translated into actions!"

I woke up in the middle of the night last night, which isn't unusual for me, but there was a weird heavyness on my heart.  I didn't know what was going on, or why I felt that way.  Strange for that early in the morning.  So I went to check my mail, and saw the headline...."8.9 Earthquake and Tsunami hit Japan".  Here we go again!  Immediately I knew that this was going to be another moment in history never to be forgotten!

As I sit and watch the news and see the devastation, and wait for the tsunami to hit the West Coast of the US and Canada in a few hours, it is unbelievable!!  I am reminded of the Tsunami of 2004, which hit Indonesia, where I lost missionary friends, and then the earthquake in Haiti last year where I lost more friends...the pain that came with those horrific times in this world, hit me, effected me personally, sitting here in Ontario Canada, thousands of miles away.  I have friends in Japan, my friend Kenji has family there, I have alot of friends on the West Coast of the USA and Canada, that may or may not be effected by the tsunami of today.  I pray that they aren't!

It's not only the magnitude of the quake and the tsunami that make this horrific, but that so many other countries, even our own, are going to be directly effected.  It blows my mind!  I ask myself  Why?  Why do these things keep happening? Why are so many lives lost?  Is there a purpose, a reason?  There are often so many questions when tragedy strikes, and often little to no answers.  That's where faith comes into play, but that is often when faith is the hardest thing demonstrate.  Trust me! 

Last year when I was dealing with the loss of my friends in Haiti, and all that was going on there, someone sent me a video of a powerful song, that to this day, will make me cry.  But whether it is Indonesia, Haiti, Japan, or maybe just a personal heartache,.... we need to always remember "He's got the whole world in His hands, and  He feels your pain."  

 Listen and be encouraged! 

Rising from Heartache and Pain - (Personal Story)

"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed."
~Psalm 34:18~

Wow, so I was sitting listening to some tunes the other day, and came across an artist I'd never heard of before - Sara Haze .  She has a song called "My Addiction", that really hit home to me.  You may be asking, "What in the world Amanda?"  The answer is - No I don't have an addiction, none at all, except maybe to sour candy, but that is another story for another day.  As I listened to the lyrics, and the heartbreak in the song, it brought back alot of emotions for me, because I had been there, I had felt that low, that desperate in my life, I needed someone to save me, I needed to save myself!   Click the song below to listen to it! 

Allow me to shed a little light on my personal struggle.  I was married at one point in time.  About 3 months after we got married, I discovered that my then husband had a serious addiction.  He didn't tell anyone, and neither did I.  I didn't feel like it was my place, and part of me kept telling myself, "It will end, things will get better.", but they didn't... they just kept getting worse.  I prayed daily that things would change, tried to get him to get help, which he would convince me that he would, but never really did, I would spend alot of nights, days too, in tears, it broke me, shattered my self-esteem, and put my faith to the test more then I dare admit, but I wanted my marriage to work, I had made a commitment, to him, and to God!  I thought I could change him, make things ok.  I tried, and tried... for 4 years!  I became good at playing the part of the "happy wife" in public, even though inside, I was anything but happy.  Nobody knew the struggle that was going on, or any of what I was going through behind closed doors, not even my family had any idea!  I was scared, felt more alone then I have ever felt in my entire life, I had lost myself in all of it, I was carrying my husbands secret, that wasn't mine to carry, and the weight of that got to be too much.  I was wrapped up in making sure nobody found out, of trying to fix him, of trying to be what and who he wanted me to be, so he'd be happy with me, but nothing I did was enough, or right. 

It was a February day when it all became too much, I finally broke my silence, and shared with my parents the weight that I had been carrying for the past 4 yrs, and the pain that came with it.  It was one of the hardest things I ever had to do.  I was scared of what would happen, what they would say, the decisions I'd have to make, of whether leaving was best, or whether to stay and keep trying to save my marriage. I sought professional counselling, and through that, I realized that I was getting hurt, and in a sense enabling him to continue to treat me this way, I had been blind that the entire time!  I couldn't change him, he had to want to change, and clearly he didn't, even after over a year of seperation, nothing changed at all with him.  He left me no choice.  I couldn't put myself back into that emotionally abusive situation.  It wasn't healthy for me at all, and it took me a longggggggg time to realize how much hurt and pain all this had done to me over the years.  I still can't grasp it all, to be honest!  

That part of my life is over, although the pain and emotional hurt will take time to heal, but I am happier in my life then I have been in a long time, I'm constantly re-discovering who I am as a person, and I'm so thankful for my family and friends that have surrounded me with love, prayers, encouragement and support through it all!  I couldn't have made it through this chapter of my life without each of them!  I have been blessed!

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If you know of someone who is in a destructive relationship:

This book is one that I highly reccommend!  It really made me realize how damaging my marriage had been to me, and how to start healing my lack of self-esteem, and bad self-image that I had because of it.  GREAT BOOK!