How many times in our lives have we had to have faith because we had no certainty as to how things would work out? Alot, right? But how many of those times did you put faith in something or someone else other then God?
This past week I've been doing ALOT of reading...bad habit of mine it seems. I wasn't sure what I wanted to read, so I just picked something. It was the book of Hebrews, didn't think much of it. And I started reading...and evenutally got to Hebrews 11, also known as "The Faith Chapter". There is a verse in that chapter that has always struck me...verse 8 "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." I have always loved that verse. And I can't help but think...Didn't Abraham freak out and go "No way God! I'm not going anywhere, especially when I don't know how long it will take, how I'm supposed to get there, where am I supposed to live, provide for my family, etc? Are You NUTS?!?!?!" But there wasn't any of that, God said "go!" and he went! Abraham walked through the door of uncertainty that God opened, stepped out of his comfort zone, and did what he was told...no questions asked! He allowed God to lead him wherever it was He wanted him to go, he had faith that God would provide for him for whatever he faced!
WOW!!! Am I strong enough to do that? Do I have that kind of faith? When I'm faced with a choice like that, am I able to just drop things and go? I am the kind of person, and I know alot of other people are too, that like to know where we're going, what the end result will be for things...I constantly question myself and say "Am I really doing what I should be?" "Am I sure this is where God wants me to go and what He wants me to do?" "What if it doesn't work?" What if I'm not hearing this right and I take it and it bombs, then what?" "What if I'm not the right person for this?" Any of these sound familiar? But you know what...in the end, it doesn't matter if you bomb or if you succeed, the point is that you listened, obeyed, went, and tried, and in that, God sees your faith, He's pleased, and uses that time, whether success or failure, to make you a better, stronger person! If He opens a door for you, and you have the courage to take that leap of faith, He's not going to just leave you to do it on your own. God will always provide you with the means to do it! Whether it be food, money, a job, a place to live, whatever it may be. I've seen it over and over in my own life. God's told me to do something, and I don't have the finances to do it, or have no idea where I'll live, and it never fails...God has always provided exactly what I needed, maybe not more then that, but I've never been without!
Comfort zones are nice, but sometimes in them we forget what we could be capable of doing bigger and better things! God has had our lives planned before we were born, He knows where we'll go, what we'll do, the mistakes and successes we'll have, and He knows how we'll finish this "life race". The question is...do you have faith enough in all of that to step out of that comfort zone you're in and say "Ok God, here I am, take my hand, and my life and lead, even if I don't know where I'm going, You do!"?? Am I strong enough to say that?? I hope so!
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Affirmation of Self-Worth
Why is it that no matter how many times I go through this, and say "Yeah, I get it!" I really don't! Or at least the truth of it never seems to stick! The past few months have been hard for me faith-wise. What is my worth? People in this world may rip you down, tear you apart, make your self-worth nothing, and make you believe that is what you are, because so many times we are caught up in the world, that we forget that God sees us as more then that! I seem to have forgotten it over and over and over in my life. And I've had friends tell me over and over... "Amanda, you're God's Child, you're worth so much to Him!"....yet why couldn't I believe it? I'm not sure...it's clearly a faith issue!
This week I was unpacking a box (nope still not unpacked! That's a whole other story in and of itself!) and I came across something that I got at a conference almost 10 yrs ago! This is what it says:
"You have permission to enjoy a sense of self worth and dignity bestowed upon you by your Creator because of your being designed in His image. You are encouraged to commit yourself to be fully what you are - an imagebearer of God.
It is to be remembered your worth is a settled issue, and rests in the truth of Who You Are rather then what you do. Because your worth is secure, in being made in God's image, you are free to grow in personal ways and thus demonstrate your individual uniqueness by what you do.
It is to be remembered that your emotional and spiritual growth is gradual and will be completed only at the Designer's return; therefore, you are free in God's love and Christ's redemption to grow each day becoming more of a feeling, choosing, thinking, communicative, self-aware, morally aware, spiritually aware and creative person! You are designed for relationship. Becoming a whole person in quality relationships with God and others is the purpose of life; therefore, you can glorify God not only by what you do, but also by who you are. Your being made in His image is God's gift to you; your becoming a whole person is your gift to God!" ~ Larry Day
WOW!!! What an amazing thing! Attached to this little card was a little gold pin, with a pearl-like bead on it....The Gold represents the innate and created worth of your life as found in Genesis 1:26-27 and Psalm 139:13-14. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! The Pearl represents the fact that Jesus saw your worth and willingly paid the price of his life to redeem you. You are a pearl of great value to him (Matt 10:15; 13:45; 15:13). The pearl is White to represent who you are in Christ (Romans 8:1; 8:38-39; Galations 5:1). The gold and pearl are to remind you that you are worth it; you are loved, and remind you of these Biblical truths!
So when it's all said and done, does the approval of others in this world, whose opinions change like the tide, mean that much? Or would you rather live your life knowing that you have already been approved and are loved unconditionally, no matter how many times we stray or what we do, by our Creator? That's the question I've been asking myself lately!
This week I was unpacking a box (nope still not unpacked! That's a whole other story in and of itself!) and I came across something that I got at a conference almost 10 yrs ago! This is what it says:
"You have permission to enjoy a sense of self worth and dignity bestowed upon you by your Creator because of your being designed in His image. You are encouraged to commit yourself to be fully what you are - an imagebearer of God.
It is to be remembered your worth is a settled issue, and rests in the truth of Who You Are rather then what you do. Because your worth is secure, in being made in God's image, you are free to grow in personal ways and thus demonstrate your individual uniqueness by what you do.
It is to be remembered that your emotional and spiritual growth is gradual and will be completed only at the Designer's return; therefore, you are free in God's love and Christ's redemption to grow each day becoming more of a feeling, choosing, thinking, communicative, self-aware, morally aware, spiritually aware and creative person! You are designed for relationship. Becoming a whole person in quality relationships with God and others is the purpose of life; therefore, you can glorify God not only by what you do, but also by who you are. Your being made in His image is God's gift to you; your becoming a whole person is your gift to God!" ~ Larry Day
WOW!!! What an amazing thing! Attached to this little card was a little gold pin, with a pearl-like bead on it....The Gold represents the innate and created worth of your life as found in Genesis 1:26-27 and Psalm 139:13-14. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! The Pearl represents the fact that Jesus saw your worth and willingly paid the price of his life to redeem you. You are a pearl of great value to him (Matt 10:15; 13:45; 15:13). The pearl is White to represent who you are in Christ (Romans 8:1; 8:38-39; Galations 5:1). The gold and pearl are to remind you that you are worth it; you are loved, and remind you of these Biblical truths!
So when it's all said and done, does the approval of others in this world, whose opinions change like the tide, mean that much? Or would you rather live your life knowing that you have already been approved and are loved unconditionally, no matter how many times we stray or what we do, by our Creator? That's the question I've been asking myself lately!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Life or Something Like It
I've kind of been MIA lately, really had nothing of any value to say. Sometimes I'm not sure if I ever really do. I just write what's on my heart at the moment, and maybe it can be of some use or humor to someone.
So what's been on my mind lately... WAY too much! I've kind of been looking through the past. Sometimes that's not such a great thing to do! The past should be just that.... the past, right? Hmmmm. I'm not so sure! The thing is that I've learned alot about who I actually am, things I've never really thought about or considered before, maybe I'm behind the times on this or something, or maybe slow to catch on. Here's some of them....
1) I'm a strong person, even if I don't really feel like I am! I always thought I was a pretty weak person, in alot of aspects! I guess it depends on what your definition of "strength" is, right? As I look over my entire life, I've had to had to fight, so many things worked against me from day 1! But it seems like every obstacle that I've overcome in life, has not only helped me be who I am, but given me a strong fighting spirit. So what about spiritually strong? I feel like I'm so far from strong in that area, like I miss the mark alot. There's alot of people that I look up to and respect who are so strong spiritually, they put my faith to shame! I guess that is something I have to continually work on to achieve, or at least not fall back from the progress I've made in this area of life. Easier said then done!
2) It's not completely my fault I'm Complicated! How many of you have been told "You're so complicated!"..probably most of us! The thing is that situations and experiences we've gone through in each of our lives make us more complicated then we really are. Take all the crazy crap out of our lives and we'd be pretty simple right? Sorry, life doesn't work that way! Trust me on this! Sometimes you can't help the situations or events from your past that have complicated your life, things happen, you have to deal. We all have crap in the closet of life, it's part of life...accept it, deal with it, and move on! If others can't handle your complicated self, then they have NO CLUE how complicated they really are themselves! Does that make any sense?
3) I'm gonna make mistakes, so sue me! I'm far from perfect! I know it, frankly I've made alot of mistakes! I know it's part of the growing process, and anyone who says to you "That was a dumb mistake!", just remember they've probably made a few of their own in their lifetime, and maybe ones even worse then that one they commented on you for! :-) Doesn't that make you feel better??
4) Trusting people isn't easy! This is a HUGE one for me! It seems like I was born with "Anti-trust". And why is it that when I finally feel like I can trust someone, 9 times out of 10, that person reminds me why I find it so hard to trust people to begin with? What's with people these days? Is it just me? Maybe I trust people too quickly and don't give it enough time before I share things, I don't know. But if that's the case what is a sufficient time frame before you can really trust someone?? Is there a book on this? Hmmm. This past year has really brought this issue to the forefront of my life lately. I've struggled with this my entire life.
5) Friendships are not always "peachy keen"! Ok, so I don't have alot of close friends, more like alot of aqaintances, and a handful of close friends. Whoever said that true friendships don't go through their rough times, that best friends don't fight and argue and are all "happy-go lucky" all the time....they're LYING!!! Friends, even your best and closest friends, are gonna hurt you every once in awhile, you're going to go through some hard times, some REALLY hard times, times where you lose touch, times where you just are so mad at the other person, times where you don't feel as close to them as you used to be, times when you move in different directions in life, but there are also so many good times and good things, that counter-act all that! Lord knows I've gone through alot of really difficult times with some of my close friends, and I thought we wouldn't make it through, but I never gave up on them or our friendship! I truly believe that when go through the tough times together, and can overcome those times, it makes you stronger friends in the end, and you really see what your friendship is made of! Those are the friends and friendships to hold onto!
Ok this could become a really long list of things I've learned, but I'll stop there for right now. Maybe take this up next time.
So what's been on my mind lately... WAY too much! I've kind of been looking through the past. Sometimes that's not such a great thing to do! The past should be just that.... the past, right? Hmmmm. I'm not so sure! The thing is that I've learned alot about who I actually am, things I've never really thought about or considered before, maybe I'm behind the times on this or something, or maybe slow to catch on. Here's some of them....
1) I'm a strong person, even if I don't really feel like I am! I always thought I was a pretty weak person, in alot of aspects! I guess it depends on what your definition of "strength" is, right? As I look over my entire life, I've had to had to fight, so many things worked against me from day 1! But it seems like every obstacle that I've overcome in life, has not only helped me be who I am, but given me a strong fighting spirit. So what about spiritually strong? I feel like I'm so far from strong in that area, like I miss the mark alot. There's alot of people that I look up to and respect who are so strong spiritually, they put my faith to shame! I guess that is something I have to continually work on to achieve, or at least not fall back from the progress I've made in this area of life. Easier said then done!
2) It's not completely my fault I'm Complicated! How many of you have been told "You're so complicated!"..probably most of us! The thing is that situations and experiences we've gone through in each of our lives make us more complicated then we really are. Take all the crazy crap out of our lives and we'd be pretty simple right? Sorry, life doesn't work that way! Trust me on this! Sometimes you can't help the situations or events from your past that have complicated your life, things happen, you have to deal. We all have crap in the closet of life, it's part of life...accept it, deal with it, and move on! If others can't handle your complicated self, then they have NO CLUE how complicated they really are themselves! Does that make any sense?
3) I'm gonna make mistakes, so sue me! I'm far from perfect! I know it, frankly I've made alot of mistakes! I know it's part of the growing process, and anyone who says to you "That was a dumb mistake!", just remember they've probably made a few of their own in their lifetime, and maybe ones even worse then that one they commented on you for! :-) Doesn't that make you feel better??
4) Trusting people isn't easy! This is a HUGE one for me! It seems like I was born with "Anti-trust". And why is it that when I finally feel like I can trust someone, 9 times out of 10, that person reminds me why I find it so hard to trust people to begin with? What's with people these days? Is it just me? Maybe I trust people too quickly and don't give it enough time before I share things, I don't know. But if that's the case what is a sufficient time frame before you can really trust someone?? Is there a book on this? Hmmm. This past year has really brought this issue to the forefront of my life lately. I've struggled with this my entire life.
5) Friendships are not always "peachy keen"! Ok, so I don't have alot of close friends, more like alot of aqaintances, and a handful of close friends. Whoever said that true friendships don't go through their rough times, that best friends don't fight and argue and are all "happy-go lucky" all the time....they're LYING!!! Friends, even your best and closest friends, are gonna hurt you every once in awhile, you're going to go through some hard times, some REALLY hard times, times where you lose touch, times where you just are so mad at the other person, times where you don't feel as close to them as you used to be, times when you move in different directions in life, but there are also so many good times and good things, that counter-act all that! Lord knows I've gone through alot of really difficult times with some of my close friends, and I thought we wouldn't make it through, but I never gave up on them or our friendship! I truly believe that when go through the tough times together, and can overcome those times, it makes you stronger friends in the end, and you really see what your friendship is made of! Those are the friends and friendships to hold onto!
Ok this could become a really long list of things I've learned, but I'll stop there for right now. Maybe take this up next time.
End of a Chapter...
It was April 1st, at about 2:30 AM, when we drove up the Camp Fireside driveway, and to our new home....the Infirmary!! "Welcome Home", Dad had said....You've Got to be kidding! We all stumbled out of the car, along with our 2 dogs, and into the Infirmary. Back then there were wood floors made out of who knows what, but it was splinter city, there was no furniture except for 3 wooden chairs in the kitchen around this little table, there were 3 bedrooms, none had doors, just curtain type doors, the beds were huge antique hospital beds, which eventually turned out to be rather cool once we figured out how to crank them up and down, and there was only one bathroom that worked with a little shower....April Fool's right??? Wrong! It was real, we were staying here, this was going to be "home", for who knows how long! We had barely anything, a single suitcase each for personal belongings and clothes, and that was it, not much money, not really any food... I remember going to bed that night thinking at the ripe old age of 9yrs old, "Why are we here?" It turned out that we would stay there for 6 years, the BEST 6 years of my life! The stories I could tell you, the memories, the staff we had that became my "family", camp became my "home", actually it became my "life"! I loved it!
In July of 1994, my family and I headed up to camp for the last time to say goodbye to the staff, our "family" for the past 6 yrs, but the new director wouldn't even stop the staff meeting for us to say goodbye to anyone! So we left, never to see any of them again, without saying goodbye, there was no closure, just hurt that after 6yrs it ended like that. I didn't really keep in touch with many that I left behind in New England, but wondered how they were, when memories would pop into my head in the months and years that followed.
Sometimes God brings your life full-circle, which is really weird I might add! Just over 10 yrs later, in 2004, God brought me back to Fireside for the summer. I had no idea why really, besides the fact that jobs in BC were scarce and we really had no other place to live! I remember the first night I was back, and walking around the prperty, it pretty much looked the same as it did when I left so long ago, but everything else had changed dramatically, and it broke my heart! I remember sitting in the field that night looking up at the stars, and I just cried! I had never felt more alone then I did that night! There was nobody on staff that I knew, but there were people on the Board that I knew from years ago...that was crazy seeing them again. It was a difficult summer for me in alot of ways, challenging, heatbreaking, but a good one as well. But throughtout it, I kept wondering "God, why have you brought me back, if this is how it's going to be?" It was the day before I was to leave and head back to Canada, and I was walking through the woods, on the paths I'd walked so many times as a kid. I knew them like the back of my hand. They were where I had used to go to be alone. I remember that day walking up to the bluffs, and sitting there for what seemed like hours, then walking back and sitting down by the firebowl, listening to the water, the wind in the trees, remembering the past, the memories of this place, how I grew up here, the people I met, the friends I had, and I began to cry. I realized that this was it, the time had come to close this chapter of my life now, and move on. That was a hard day, but it felt like what I needed to do.
Will I forget anything of those years spent there? Not a Chance! In a sense I became the person I am because of that place! I found there my love for people, for ministry, friendships that will last a lifetime (thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with alot of them!)! So you see, what I, along with my other family members, thought was an "April Fools Gag"....turned out to be the biggest blessing anyone could have given me!
In July of 1994, my family and I headed up to camp for the last time to say goodbye to the staff, our "family" for the past 6 yrs, but the new director wouldn't even stop the staff meeting for us to say goodbye to anyone! So we left, never to see any of them again, without saying goodbye, there was no closure, just hurt that after 6yrs it ended like that. I didn't really keep in touch with many that I left behind in New England, but wondered how they were, when memories would pop into my head in the months and years that followed.
Sometimes God brings your life full-circle, which is really weird I might add! Just over 10 yrs later, in 2004, God brought me back to Fireside for the summer. I had no idea why really, besides the fact that jobs in BC were scarce and we really had no other place to live! I remember the first night I was back, and walking around the prperty, it pretty much looked the same as it did when I left so long ago, but everything else had changed dramatically, and it broke my heart! I remember sitting in the field that night looking up at the stars, and I just cried! I had never felt more alone then I did that night! There was nobody on staff that I knew, but there were people on the Board that I knew from years ago...that was crazy seeing them again. It was a difficult summer for me in alot of ways, challenging, heatbreaking, but a good one as well. But throughtout it, I kept wondering "God, why have you brought me back, if this is how it's going to be?" It was the day before I was to leave and head back to Canada, and I was walking through the woods, on the paths I'd walked so many times as a kid. I knew them like the back of my hand. They were where I had used to go to be alone. I remember that day walking up to the bluffs, and sitting there for what seemed like hours, then walking back and sitting down by the firebowl, listening to the water, the wind in the trees, remembering the past, the memories of this place, how I grew up here, the people I met, the friends I had, and I began to cry. I realized that this was it, the time had come to close this chapter of my life now, and move on. That was a hard day, but it felt like what I needed to do.
Will I forget anything of those years spent there? Not a Chance! In a sense I became the person I am because of that place! I found there my love for people, for ministry, friendships that will last a lifetime (thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with alot of them!)! So you see, what I, along with my other family members, thought was an "April Fools Gag"....turned out to be the biggest blessing anyone could have given me!
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