Wow, what a weekend!!! Here in Brockville we had the priviledge of having Ruth Graham & Friends here to do a conference! On Friday night over 1100 people packed into Wall Street United Church to hear Ruth Graham speak, but first a time of worship and Huntley Brown shared his amazing gift of music with all of us! WOW! That's all I can say is "Wow!"! I've heard some amazing pianists in my time, but "Wow!", he was incredible to listen to, and to watch! I wish I was able to take in the entire conference, but I was thankful to have been able to go and hear Ruth speak at least once, and it was definately a "God thing".
Ruth Graham, 3rd out of 5 children of Billy and Ruth Graham, who the world knows, and respects, she had two failed marriages, delt with depression, grandchildren born out of wed-lock, a son who dabbled in drugs, a daughter who had an eating disorder, etc... As she spoke that night on the Prodigal Son, and shared bits and pieces of her story with all of us, I sat and listened. The words she spoke rang true with me! I knew and understood where she had been, for that is where I had found myself.
I, like her, have grown up in a Christian home.
I, like her, am a Pastors daughter.
I, like her, am the 3 child.
I, like her, have delt with depression.
I, like her, have a failed marriage.
I, like her, have carried around that guilt for so long.
I, like her, have been shattered and broken by it.
Those are just a few of the things I connected with. She spoke of how hard it had been to share her failures with her parents, with her family, with her friends. How she had felt like a failure to herself, and to God for years, how she didn't trust herself to make good decisions for her life anymore. Oh how I understood those feelings all too well! But life happens, things happen that you don't expect, including failed marriages. The good news is that God will accept us, in our broken, hurt, and wounded state, and welcome us home! He'll love us no matter what we've done, how we feel, what mistakes we've made. We all have our flaws, nobody but Him is perfect. So as I now read the story of the Prodigal Son, it is no longer focused on the son, but on the Loving Father.... our Father, who accepts us unconditionally!
Something Ruth said that night stuck with me. She said "When you feel like you are in the midst of the ruins of your life, remember that God doesn't see it as the end of something. God will use those ruins and make something beautiful out of those hardships or trials, failed marriages, whatever it is!"
I asked my Mum to get one of her books for me, and she did, and also got it signed by Ruth Graham, and it says "To Amanda - God Restores! Ruth Graham John 1:16 I am encouraged! I can't wait to read this book on my trip to New England next week!
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Fingerprints
"Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch." ~ Tyler Hawkins
The past week or so has brought back alot of memories for me. As I look forward to going on vacation, and traveling again, I started going through my many, MANY pictures from tour and various travels. It's incedible to see the pictures, remember the places and people I met along the way! Oh so many, and the things I have learned from others!
I was thinking on it this morning, about how many people we meet in our lifetime, and it may just for a brief visit, you may know them for years before you part ways, but either way your "fingerprints" are left in their lives! They have been touched by you, and you by them! Think of how many "fingerprints" cover your life...alot huh? What "fingerprint" will you leave on the lives of the people you meet today? Will it be a positive one?
Saturday, July 31, 2010
"The Shrug"
So the past few days I've been reading a book called "Job - A Man of Heroic Endurance" by Charles Swindoll, and I came across this portion of the book, and thought it was great, something we, myself included, need to practice.
He writes:
"I want you to pracitice this in front of the mirror. I call it "The Shrug". Stand in front of the mirror, all alone, nobody around, shrug your shoulders, and say, "I don't know...I really don't know." You can add, "I can't tell you why that happened. I don't know." Repeat the words several times: "I don't know."
The great news is that God never shrugs. He never says "I don't know." With acute perception He says, "I know exactly why this happened. I know the way you take. I know why. I know how long you will be there, and I know what will be the end result." Shrugging and diety are incompatible.
While you're shrugging in genuine humility, saying, "I don't know," He's saying, "Good for you. Rely on Me in the mystery. Trust Me." God never promised He would inform us ahead of time all about His plan, He's just promised us that He has one. Ultimately it is for our good and His glory. He knows - we don't. That's why we shrug and say "I don't know." So if you meet me one day, and you ask me a deep, difficult question, don't be surprised if I shrug and say "I don't know."
He writes:
"I want you to pracitice this in front of the mirror. I call it "The Shrug". Stand in front of the mirror, all alone, nobody around, shrug your shoulders, and say, "I don't know...I really don't know." You can add, "I can't tell you why that happened. I don't know." Repeat the words several times: "I don't know."
The great news is that God never shrugs. He never says "I don't know." With acute perception He says, "I know exactly why this happened. I know the way you take. I know why. I know how long you will be there, and I know what will be the end result." Shrugging and diety are incompatible.
While you're shrugging in genuine humility, saying, "I don't know," He's saying, "Good for you. Rely on Me in the mystery. Trust Me." God never promised He would inform us ahead of time all about His plan, He's just promised us that He has one. Ultimately it is for our good and His glory. He knows - we don't. That's why we shrug and say "I don't know." So if you meet me one day, and you ask me a deep, difficult question, don't be surprised if I shrug and say "I don't know."
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Uncertainty or Faith.....
How many times in our lives have we had to have faith because we had no certainty as to how things would work out? Alot, right? But how many of those times did you put faith in something or someone else other then God?
This past week I've been doing ALOT of reading...bad habit of mine it seems. I wasn't sure what I wanted to read, so I just picked something. It was the book of Hebrews, didn't think much of it. And I started reading...and evenutally got to Hebrews 11, also known as "The Faith Chapter". There is a verse in that chapter that has always struck me...verse 8 "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." I have always loved that verse. And I can't help but think...Didn't Abraham freak out and go "No way God! I'm not going anywhere, especially when I don't know how long it will take, how I'm supposed to get there, where am I supposed to live, provide for my family, etc? Are You NUTS?!?!?!" But there wasn't any of that, God said "go!" and he went! Abraham walked through the door of uncertainty that God opened, stepped out of his comfort zone, and did what he was told...no questions asked! He allowed God to lead him wherever it was He wanted him to go, he had faith that God would provide for him for whatever he faced!
WOW!!! Am I strong enough to do that? Do I have that kind of faith? When I'm faced with a choice like that, am I able to just drop things and go? I am the kind of person, and I know alot of other people are too, that like to know where we're going, what the end result will be for things...I constantly question myself and say "Am I really doing what I should be?" "Am I sure this is where God wants me to go and what He wants me to do?" "What if it doesn't work?" What if I'm not hearing this right and I take it and it bombs, then what?" "What if I'm not the right person for this?" Any of these sound familiar? But you know what...in the end, it doesn't matter if you bomb or if you succeed, the point is that you listened, obeyed, went, and tried, and in that, God sees your faith, He's pleased, and uses that time, whether success or failure, to make you a better, stronger person! If He opens a door for you, and you have the courage to take that leap of faith, He's not going to just leave you to do it on your own. God will always provide you with the means to do it! Whether it be food, money, a job, a place to live, whatever it may be. I've seen it over and over in my own life. God's told me to do something, and I don't have the finances to do it, or have no idea where I'll live, and it never fails...God has always provided exactly what I needed, maybe not more then that, but I've never been without!
Comfort zones are nice, but sometimes in them we forget what we could be capable of doing bigger and better things! God has had our lives planned before we were born, He knows where we'll go, what we'll do, the mistakes and successes we'll have, and He knows how we'll finish this "life race". The question is...do you have faith enough in all of that to step out of that comfort zone you're in and say "Ok God, here I am, take my hand, and my life and lead, even if I don't know where I'm going, You do!"?? Am I strong enough to say that?? I hope so!
This past week I've been doing ALOT of reading...bad habit of mine it seems. I wasn't sure what I wanted to read, so I just picked something. It was the book of Hebrews, didn't think much of it. And I started reading...and evenutally got to Hebrews 11, also known as "The Faith Chapter". There is a verse in that chapter that has always struck me...verse 8 "By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going." I have always loved that verse. And I can't help but think...Didn't Abraham freak out and go "No way God! I'm not going anywhere, especially when I don't know how long it will take, how I'm supposed to get there, where am I supposed to live, provide for my family, etc? Are You NUTS?!?!?!" But there wasn't any of that, God said "go!" and he went! Abraham walked through the door of uncertainty that God opened, stepped out of his comfort zone, and did what he was told...no questions asked! He allowed God to lead him wherever it was He wanted him to go, he had faith that God would provide for him for whatever he faced!
WOW!!! Am I strong enough to do that? Do I have that kind of faith? When I'm faced with a choice like that, am I able to just drop things and go? I am the kind of person, and I know alot of other people are too, that like to know where we're going, what the end result will be for things...I constantly question myself and say "Am I really doing what I should be?" "Am I sure this is where God wants me to go and what He wants me to do?" "What if it doesn't work?" What if I'm not hearing this right and I take it and it bombs, then what?" "What if I'm not the right person for this?" Any of these sound familiar? But you know what...in the end, it doesn't matter if you bomb or if you succeed, the point is that you listened, obeyed, went, and tried, and in that, God sees your faith, He's pleased, and uses that time, whether success or failure, to make you a better, stronger person! If He opens a door for you, and you have the courage to take that leap of faith, He's not going to just leave you to do it on your own. God will always provide you with the means to do it! Whether it be food, money, a job, a place to live, whatever it may be. I've seen it over and over in my own life. God's told me to do something, and I don't have the finances to do it, or have no idea where I'll live, and it never fails...God has always provided exactly what I needed, maybe not more then that, but I've never been without!
Comfort zones are nice, but sometimes in them we forget what we could be capable of doing bigger and better things! God has had our lives planned before we were born, He knows where we'll go, what we'll do, the mistakes and successes we'll have, and He knows how we'll finish this "life race". The question is...do you have faith enough in all of that to step out of that comfort zone you're in and say "Ok God, here I am, take my hand, and my life and lead, even if I don't know where I'm going, You do!"?? Am I strong enough to say that?? I hope so!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Affirmation of Self-Worth
Why is it that no matter how many times I go through this, and say "Yeah, I get it!" I really don't! Or at least the truth of it never seems to stick! The past few months have been hard for me faith-wise. What is my worth? People in this world may rip you down, tear you apart, make your self-worth nothing, and make you believe that is what you are, because so many times we are caught up in the world, that we forget that God sees us as more then that! I seem to have forgotten it over and over and over in my life. And I've had friends tell me over and over... "Amanda, you're God's Child, you're worth so much to Him!"....yet why couldn't I believe it? I'm not sure...it's clearly a faith issue!
This week I was unpacking a box (nope still not unpacked! That's a whole other story in and of itself!) and I came across something that I got at a conference almost 10 yrs ago! This is what it says:
"You have permission to enjoy a sense of self worth and dignity bestowed upon you by your Creator because of your being designed in His image. You are encouraged to commit yourself to be fully what you are - an imagebearer of God.
It is to be remembered your worth is a settled issue, and rests in the truth of Who You Are rather then what you do. Because your worth is secure, in being made in God's image, you are free to grow in personal ways and thus demonstrate your individual uniqueness by what you do.
It is to be remembered that your emotional and spiritual growth is gradual and will be completed only at the Designer's return; therefore, you are free in God's love and Christ's redemption to grow each day becoming more of a feeling, choosing, thinking, communicative, self-aware, morally aware, spiritually aware and creative person! You are designed for relationship. Becoming a whole person in quality relationships with God and others is the purpose of life; therefore, you can glorify God not only by what you do, but also by who you are. Your being made in His image is God's gift to you; your becoming a whole person is your gift to God!" ~ Larry Day
WOW!!! What an amazing thing! Attached to this little card was a little gold pin, with a pearl-like bead on it....The Gold represents the innate and created worth of your life as found in Genesis 1:26-27 and Psalm 139:13-14. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! The Pearl represents the fact that Jesus saw your worth and willingly paid the price of his life to redeem you. You are a pearl of great value to him (Matt 10:15; 13:45; 15:13). The pearl is White to represent who you are in Christ (Romans 8:1; 8:38-39; Galations 5:1). The gold and pearl are to remind you that you are worth it; you are loved, and remind you of these Biblical truths!
So when it's all said and done, does the approval of others in this world, whose opinions change like the tide, mean that much? Or would you rather live your life knowing that you have already been approved and are loved unconditionally, no matter how many times we stray or what we do, by our Creator? That's the question I've been asking myself lately!
This week I was unpacking a box (nope still not unpacked! That's a whole other story in and of itself!) and I came across something that I got at a conference almost 10 yrs ago! This is what it says:
"You have permission to enjoy a sense of self worth and dignity bestowed upon you by your Creator because of your being designed in His image. You are encouraged to commit yourself to be fully what you are - an imagebearer of God.
It is to be remembered your worth is a settled issue, and rests in the truth of Who You Are rather then what you do. Because your worth is secure, in being made in God's image, you are free to grow in personal ways and thus demonstrate your individual uniqueness by what you do.
It is to be remembered that your emotional and spiritual growth is gradual and will be completed only at the Designer's return; therefore, you are free in God's love and Christ's redemption to grow each day becoming more of a feeling, choosing, thinking, communicative, self-aware, morally aware, spiritually aware and creative person! You are designed for relationship. Becoming a whole person in quality relationships with God and others is the purpose of life; therefore, you can glorify God not only by what you do, but also by who you are. Your being made in His image is God's gift to you; your becoming a whole person is your gift to God!" ~ Larry Day
WOW!!! What an amazing thing! Attached to this little card was a little gold pin, with a pearl-like bead on it....The Gold represents the innate and created worth of your life as found in Genesis 1:26-27 and Psalm 139:13-14. You are fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God! The Pearl represents the fact that Jesus saw your worth and willingly paid the price of his life to redeem you. You are a pearl of great value to him (Matt 10:15; 13:45; 15:13). The pearl is White to represent who you are in Christ (Romans 8:1; 8:38-39; Galations 5:1). The gold and pearl are to remind you that you are worth it; you are loved, and remind you of these Biblical truths!
So when it's all said and done, does the approval of others in this world, whose opinions change like the tide, mean that much? Or would you rather live your life knowing that you have already been approved and are loved unconditionally, no matter how many times we stray or what we do, by our Creator? That's the question I've been asking myself lately!
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Life or Something Like It
I've kind of been MIA lately, really had nothing of any value to say. Sometimes I'm not sure if I ever really do. I just write what's on my heart at the moment, and maybe it can be of some use or humor to someone.
So what's been on my mind lately... WAY too much! I've kind of been looking through the past. Sometimes that's not such a great thing to do! The past should be just that.... the past, right? Hmmmm. I'm not so sure! The thing is that I've learned alot about who I actually am, things I've never really thought about or considered before, maybe I'm behind the times on this or something, or maybe slow to catch on. Here's some of them....
1) I'm a strong person, even if I don't really feel like I am! I always thought I was a pretty weak person, in alot of aspects! I guess it depends on what your definition of "strength" is, right? As I look over my entire life, I've had to had to fight, so many things worked against me from day 1! But it seems like every obstacle that I've overcome in life, has not only helped me be who I am, but given me a strong fighting spirit. So what about spiritually strong? I feel like I'm so far from strong in that area, like I miss the mark alot. There's alot of people that I look up to and respect who are so strong spiritually, they put my faith to shame! I guess that is something I have to continually work on to achieve, or at least not fall back from the progress I've made in this area of life. Easier said then done!
2) It's not completely my fault I'm Complicated! How many of you have been told "You're so complicated!"..probably most of us! The thing is that situations and experiences we've gone through in each of our lives make us more complicated then we really are. Take all the crazy crap out of our lives and we'd be pretty simple right? Sorry, life doesn't work that way! Trust me on this! Sometimes you can't help the situations or events from your past that have complicated your life, things happen, you have to deal. We all have crap in the closet of life, it's part of life...accept it, deal with it, and move on! If others can't handle your complicated self, then they have NO CLUE how complicated they really are themselves! Does that make any sense?
3) I'm gonna make mistakes, so sue me! I'm far from perfect! I know it, frankly I've made alot of mistakes! I know it's part of the growing process, and anyone who says to you "That was a dumb mistake!", just remember they've probably made a few of their own in their lifetime, and maybe ones even worse then that one they commented on you for! :-) Doesn't that make you feel better??
4) Trusting people isn't easy! This is a HUGE one for me! It seems like I was born with "Anti-trust". And why is it that when I finally feel like I can trust someone, 9 times out of 10, that person reminds me why I find it so hard to trust people to begin with? What's with people these days? Is it just me? Maybe I trust people too quickly and don't give it enough time before I share things, I don't know. But if that's the case what is a sufficient time frame before you can really trust someone?? Is there a book on this? Hmmm. This past year has really brought this issue to the forefront of my life lately. I've struggled with this my entire life.
5) Friendships are not always "peachy keen"! Ok, so I don't have alot of close friends, more like alot of aqaintances, and a handful of close friends. Whoever said that true friendships don't go through their rough times, that best friends don't fight and argue and are all "happy-go lucky" all the time....they're LYING!!! Friends, even your best and closest friends, are gonna hurt you every once in awhile, you're going to go through some hard times, some REALLY hard times, times where you lose touch, times where you just are so mad at the other person, times where you don't feel as close to them as you used to be, times when you move in different directions in life, but there are also so many good times and good things, that counter-act all that! Lord knows I've gone through alot of really difficult times with some of my close friends, and I thought we wouldn't make it through, but I never gave up on them or our friendship! I truly believe that when go through the tough times together, and can overcome those times, it makes you stronger friends in the end, and you really see what your friendship is made of! Those are the friends and friendships to hold onto!
Ok this could become a really long list of things I've learned, but I'll stop there for right now. Maybe take this up next time.
So what's been on my mind lately... WAY too much! I've kind of been looking through the past. Sometimes that's not such a great thing to do! The past should be just that.... the past, right? Hmmmm. I'm not so sure! The thing is that I've learned alot about who I actually am, things I've never really thought about or considered before, maybe I'm behind the times on this or something, or maybe slow to catch on. Here's some of them....
1) I'm a strong person, even if I don't really feel like I am! I always thought I was a pretty weak person, in alot of aspects! I guess it depends on what your definition of "strength" is, right? As I look over my entire life, I've had to had to fight, so many things worked against me from day 1! But it seems like every obstacle that I've overcome in life, has not only helped me be who I am, but given me a strong fighting spirit. So what about spiritually strong? I feel like I'm so far from strong in that area, like I miss the mark alot. There's alot of people that I look up to and respect who are so strong spiritually, they put my faith to shame! I guess that is something I have to continually work on to achieve, or at least not fall back from the progress I've made in this area of life. Easier said then done!
2) It's not completely my fault I'm Complicated! How many of you have been told "You're so complicated!"..probably most of us! The thing is that situations and experiences we've gone through in each of our lives make us more complicated then we really are. Take all the crazy crap out of our lives and we'd be pretty simple right? Sorry, life doesn't work that way! Trust me on this! Sometimes you can't help the situations or events from your past that have complicated your life, things happen, you have to deal. We all have crap in the closet of life, it's part of life...accept it, deal with it, and move on! If others can't handle your complicated self, then they have NO CLUE how complicated they really are themselves! Does that make any sense?
3) I'm gonna make mistakes, so sue me! I'm far from perfect! I know it, frankly I've made alot of mistakes! I know it's part of the growing process, and anyone who says to you "That was a dumb mistake!", just remember they've probably made a few of their own in their lifetime, and maybe ones even worse then that one they commented on you for! :-) Doesn't that make you feel better??
4) Trusting people isn't easy! This is a HUGE one for me! It seems like I was born with "Anti-trust". And why is it that when I finally feel like I can trust someone, 9 times out of 10, that person reminds me why I find it so hard to trust people to begin with? What's with people these days? Is it just me? Maybe I trust people too quickly and don't give it enough time before I share things, I don't know. But if that's the case what is a sufficient time frame before you can really trust someone?? Is there a book on this? Hmmm. This past year has really brought this issue to the forefront of my life lately. I've struggled with this my entire life.
5) Friendships are not always "peachy keen"! Ok, so I don't have alot of close friends, more like alot of aqaintances, and a handful of close friends. Whoever said that true friendships don't go through their rough times, that best friends don't fight and argue and are all "happy-go lucky" all the time....they're LYING!!! Friends, even your best and closest friends, are gonna hurt you every once in awhile, you're going to go through some hard times, some REALLY hard times, times where you lose touch, times where you just are so mad at the other person, times where you don't feel as close to them as you used to be, times when you move in different directions in life, but there are also so many good times and good things, that counter-act all that! Lord knows I've gone through alot of really difficult times with some of my close friends, and I thought we wouldn't make it through, but I never gave up on them or our friendship! I truly believe that when go through the tough times together, and can overcome those times, it makes you stronger friends in the end, and you really see what your friendship is made of! Those are the friends and friendships to hold onto!
Ok this could become a really long list of things I've learned, but I'll stop there for right now. Maybe take this up next time.
End of a Chapter...
It was April 1st, at about 2:30 AM, when we drove up the Camp Fireside driveway, and to our new home....the Infirmary!! "Welcome Home", Dad had said....You've Got to be kidding! We all stumbled out of the car, along with our 2 dogs, and into the Infirmary. Back then there were wood floors made out of who knows what, but it was splinter city, there was no furniture except for 3 wooden chairs in the kitchen around this little table, there were 3 bedrooms, none had doors, just curtain type doors, the beds were huge antique hospital beds, which eventually turned out to be rather cool once we figured out how to crank them up and down, and there was only one bathroom that worked with a little shower....April Fool's right??? Wrong! It was real, we were staying here, this was going to be "home", for who knows how long! We had barely anything, a single suitcase each for personal belongings and clothes, and that was it, not much money, not really any food... I remember going to bed that night thinking at the ripe old age of 9yrs old, "Why are we here?" It turned out that we would stay there for 6 years, the BEST 6 years of my life! The stories I could tell you, the memories, the staff we had that became my "family", camp became my "home", actually it became my "life"! I loved it!
In July of 1994, my family and I headed up to camp for the last time to say goodbye to the staff, our "family" for the past 6 yrs, but the new director wouldn't even stop the staff meeting for us to say goodbye to anyone! So we left, never to see any of them again, without saying goodbye, there was no closure, just hurt that after 6yrs it ended like that. I didn't really keep in touch with many that I left behind in New England, but wondered how they were, when memories would pop into my head in the months and years that followed.
Sometimes God brings your life full-circle, which is really weird I might add! Just over 10 yrs later, in 2004, God brought me back to Fireside for the summer. I had no idea why really, besides the fact that jobs in BC were scarce and we really had no other place to live! I remember the first night I was back, and walking around the prperty, it pretty much looked the same as it did when I left so long ago, but everything else had changed dramatically, and it broke my heart! I remember sitting in the field that night looking up at the stars, and I just cried! I had never felt more alone then I did that night! There was nobody on staff that I knew, but there were people on the Board that I knew from years ago...that was crazy seeing them again. It was a difficult summer for me in alot of ways, challenging, heatbreaking, but a good one as well. But throughtout it, I kept wondering "God, why have you brought me back, if this is how it's going to be?" It was the day before I was to leave and head back to Canada, and I was walking through the woods, on the paths I'd walked so many times as a kid. I knew them like the back of my hand. They were where I had used to go to be alone. I remember that day walking up to the bluffs, and sitting there for what seemed like hours, then walking back and sitting down by the firebowl, listening to the water, the wind in the trees, remembering the past, the memories of this place, how I grew up here, the people I met, the friends I had, and I began to cry. I realized that this was it, the time had come to close this chapter of my life now, and move on. That was a hard day, but it felt like what I needed to do.
Will I forget anything of those years spent there? Not a Chance! In a sense I became the person I am because of that place! I found there my love for people, for ministry, friendships that will last a lifetime (thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with alot of them!)! So you see, what I, along with my other family members, thought was an "April Fools Gag"....turned out to be the biggest blessing anyone could have given me!
In July of 1994, my family and I headed up to camp for the last time to say goodbye to the staff, our "family" for the past 6 yrs, but the new director wouldn't even stop the staff meeting for us to say goodbye to anyone! So we left, never to see any of them again, without saying goodbye, there was no closure, just hurt that after 6yrs it ended like that. I didn't really keep in touch with many that I left behind in New England, but wondered how they were, when memories would pop into my head in the months and years that followed.
Sometimes God brings your life full-circle, which is really weird I might add! Just over 10 yrs later, in 2004, God brought me back to Fireside for the summer. I had no idea why really, besides the fact that jobs in BC were scarce and we really had no other place to live! I remember the first night I was back, and walking around the prperty, it pretty much looked the same as it did when I left so long ago, but everything else had changed dramatically, and it broke my heart! I remember sitting in the field that night looking up at the stars, and I just cried! I had never felt more alone then I did that night! There was nobody on staff that I knew, but there were people on the Board that I knew from years ago...that was crazy seeing them again. It was a difficult summer for me in alot of ways, challenging, heatbreaking, but a good one as well. But throughtout it, I kept wondering "God, why have you brought me back, if this is how it's going to be?" It was the day before I was to leave and head back to Canada, and I was walking through the woods, on the paths I'd walked so many times as a kid. I knew them like the back of my hand. They were where I had used to go to be alone. I remember that day walking up to the bluffs, and sitting there for what seemed like hours, then walking back and sitting down by the firebowl, listening to the water, the wind in the trees, remembering the past, the memories of this place, how I grew up here, the people I met, the friends I had, and I began to cry. I realized that this was it, the time had come to close this chapter of my life now, and move on. That was a hard day, but it felt like what I needed to do.
Will I forget anything of those years spent there? Not a Chance! In a sense I became the person I am because of that place! I found there my love for people, for ministry, friendships that will last a lifetime (thanks to Facebook I have reconnected with alot of them!)! So you see, what I, along with my other family members, thought was an "April Fools Gag"....turned out to be the biggest blessing anyone could have given me!
Monday, February 1, 2010
February - "Post the Love"
A new month has begun, the month of Love, according to some people. Pardon me if I'm not really in the lovey-dovey mood these days. Actually today of all days, I came home and had a HORRIBLE day at work, full of frustration and anger and just all sort of bad emotions and feelings, and came home to find this posted in my inbox in facebook..... a link.
Actor Channing Tatum today started a site online called "Post the Love", (http://postthelove.com ) it is actually a pretty awesome idea! Check it out! It's basically a challenge to everyone to share the love! Because let's face it, none of us tell the people in our lives how much we love them enough, if at all! Channing, in his intro video message to everyone, encourages people to get creative if they want, "Say it, shout it, sing it, play it, paint it, make it, write it and post it."... this site went up today, and over 1800 people have shared the love on this site! some stories are so amazing, and some are to their parents, grandparents, best friends, husbands, wives, teachers, etc.... it is really cool to see how people have been touched by other people in their lives! And to see just how often we might take for granted such people in our lives! Do we really say "I love you" and "Thank you" enough to people in our lives that have made a difference???
I want to challenge you in the month of February, every day to think of that number of people that you love and are thankful for. For example.... on February 4th, think of 4 people, 10th, think of 10 people, on the 11th, think of 11 more people.... etc.... write those names down, and a reason or two why you love them.... and maybe if you haven' t talked to them in awhile or even if you have, you might just want to share that reason with them.... the reason you love them and are thankful for them! People need to hear those things as much as we need to remember those things! :-)
Actor Channing Tatum today started a site online called "Post the Love", (http://postthelove.com ) it is actually a pretty awesome idea! Check it out! It's basically a challenge to everyone to share the love! Because let's face it, none of us tell the people in our lives how much we love them enough, if at all! Channing, in his intro video message to everyone, encourages people to get creative if they want, "Say it, shout it, sing it, play it, paint it, make it, write it and post it."... this site went up today, and over 1800 people have shared the love on this site! some stories are so amazing, and some are to their parents, grandparents, best friends, husbands, wives, teachers, etc.... it is really cool to see how people have been touched by other people in their lives! And to see just how often we might take for granted such people in our lives! Do we really say "I love you" and "Thank you" enough to people in our lives that have made a difference???
I want to challenge you in the month of February, every day to think of that number of people that you love and are thankful for. For example.... on February 4th, think of 4 people, 10th, think of 10 people, on the 11th, think of 11 more people.... etc.... write those names down, and a reason or two why you love them.... and maybe if you haven' t talked to them in awhile or even if you have, you might just want to share that reason with them.... the reason you love them and are thankful for them! People need to hear those things as much as we need to remember those things! :-)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Anyone Listening???
Well this week has been full of heartache for so many people...for the nation of Haiti, for people around the world that lost loved ones and friends in the earthquake. Myself included, as I deal with the loss of my friends the Stephensons. Today I came across this video, and as I watched it, and listened to the lyrics...it's so powerful! It's called "Anyone Listening: A Love Song for Haiti" by Kirk Franklin and Friends http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kkhHWd9JCYs Please check it out! It will move you to tears! Ok, maybe that was just me!
I admit that in my heart I struggle with how some people can just ignore whats going on with their fellow man, that they show no compassion, or just shut them out and go on with their own lives. It frustrates me, angers me...I just think, if this earthquake had happened to them or in their country, wouldn't they want people to come help them, to pray and be there for them, to support and encourage? It's truly sad how we as people are so caught up in our own world, and how much we take our lives and what we have been given by God, for granted!
"God, help me to always be compassionate to others, to see people the way You do, and realize that being sensitive to the hurts and pain of others in this world is a good thing!"
I admit that in my heart I struggle with how some people can just ignore whats going on with their fellow man, that they show no compassion, or just shut them out and go on with their own lives. It frustrates me, angers me...I just think, if this earthquake had happened to them or in their country, wouldn't they want people to come help them, to pray and be there for them, to support and encourage? It's truly sad how we as people are so caught up in our own world, and how much we take our lives and what we have been given by God, for granted!
"God, help me to always be compassionate to others, to see people the way You do, and realize that being sensitive to the hurts and pain of others in this world is a good thing!"
Monday, January 18, 2010
Many Faiths Unite in Facing Horror in Haiti
The other day I was reading something online, posted by a guy from the Washington Post about the situation in Haiti. It made the front page of http://www.msn.com/ . What I thought was interesting was that it was about how the people of different faiths in Haiti have united in this tragedy. It was a rather inspiring article! So I am going to repost it here....How I wish we were all able to look past denominational lines, and realize that we are all the same.... sinners in need of Christs love!
Many faiths unite in facing horror in Haiti
As lives and houses shattered in quake, so did some religious differences
By Manuel Roig-Franzia - The Washington Post
updated 4:02 a.m. ET, Sun., Jan. 17, 2010
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - At night, voices rise in the street. Sweet, joyful, musical voices in lyric Creole. A symphony of hope in a landscape of despair.
"It doesn't mean anything if Satan hates me, because God loves me," sing the women at Jeremy Square, their faces almost invisible in the darkness of this powerless, shattered downtown. "God has already paid my debt."
Haiti is known as a society of devout Christians -- Catholics, Protestants, Methodists, evangelicals -- and followers of voodoo. Faith has long played a powerful role in this impoverished nation, giving hope to the poor and fulfilling social functions that the government is incapable of handling.
But in the days since the earth pitched and rolled here, pulverizing shanties and mansions alike, the religious differences that sometimes separated Haitians have come crashing down.
Port-au-Prince has become a kind of multidenominational, open-air church. Tens of thousands live in the street together, scraping for food and water, sharing their misery and blending their spirituality.
The women singing together in Jeremy Square might never have worshiped side by side before the disaster, but now their voices harmonize and soar well past 2 in the morning. Lionelle Masse, a stringy woman with a deep, sad voice, lost a child in the quake. She sings next to Rosena Roche, a fiery-eyed Catholic whose husband is buried under tons of rubble.
"I still have faith in God," Roche says. "I want to give glory to God."
Regardless of their faith, countless Haitians have similar questions: Why was I spared? Are we being punished for our sins? Is this a test of faith? What happens in the afterlife?
‘Not the will of the Lord’ Seekers stream into the parking lot of the ruined Sacre Coeur Catholic church, a 105-year-old brick gem that was turned into a grim, hollowed-out shell, its stunning stained-glass windows tossed to the ground in shards. There, the Catholics and the Protestants and others seek solace from Father Hans Alexander, a Haitian priest who took his decidedly un-Haitian first name from his German father. He doesn't ask them about their religion; he asks them about their pain.
"Catholics and Protestants and other religions are praying together now," Alexander says, as two tearful women slump over his thick, broad shoulders. "We are saying, 'We love Jesus; we don't care about religions. We just care about the Lord.' " He has tried to teach his followers this lesson for years but did not always succeed in changing the minds of parishioners who thought their religion was better or truer than others. The quake, he says, has done much to convince those he could not.
As it often can be with faith, there are doubts to overcome. Some parishioners want to blame the devil, or take responsibility themselves because they have sinned. Some think God has abandoned them.
"This is not the will of the Lord," Alexander tells the two women, sisters who lost their mother and one of their children, a 1 1/2 -year-old, in the quake. "Don't put this blame on the back of anyone. Don't put it on yourself."
Like almost everyone here, the woe is personal for Alexander, who is wearing sandals, almost as if to defy the dangerous pieces of glass, jagged metal and concrete that litter the sidewalk outside his church and befoul his courtyard. Beneath the broken remnants of his rectory are the bodies of at least 20 church members he must mourn alongside their friends and relatives.
A woman whose relative is now entombed there quietly prays, with arms spread out toward a statue of the Virgin Mary. Some of the grieving have wrestled with guilt about having survived while their loved ones died, but Alexander assures them that "it is not because God loves one person more than another."
Alexander, 40, grew up in this church, first as a vicar and for the past seven months as its principal priest. He is himself pondering basic questions. He has spoken so many times of "original sin," but the quake has led him to what he calls "a discovery," reinforcing his belief that "God created us to be good." The neighbors he sees helping one another -- carting debris, digging for survivors, patching wounds both physical and psychological -- confirmed it for him.
That sense of fundamental goodness is what rankles the priests gathered at Sacre Coeur about comments such as those by American televangelist Pat Robertson, who suggested that the earthquake was a punishment for Haitians aligning themselves, at times, with the devil. When Catholic priest Arsene Jasmin heard that, he was enraged. Jasmin, a Haitian who is a priest at the Shrine of the Sacred Heart Church in the District, arrived in Port-au-Prince for a visit the day before the earthquake.
"I get mad when I hear that Haiti is somehow being punished," he says. "It's unacceptable and wrong."
Jasmin gathered Friday night in a nearby building with 100 worshipers for three hours of prayer and song. His friend, Alexander, has no church anymore -- the building that once received 3,000 worshipers for five Sunday services is a wreck. But Alexander says he will celebrate Mass outside a nearby house Sunday anyway, and he expects hundreds, if not thousands, to come.
Salvation under the skiesFor others, especially those stuck in place because they have no way to travel around the city, places such as Jeremy Square will be their makeshift churches, as they have been each night. Roche, the Catholic woman who fears her husband is dead, sleeps and worships in the square, squeezed into a row of 25 men, women and children -- one of at least 60 tightly packed rows along the slope pavement of the square.
Just a few steps from Roche's thin, white blanket, Primrose Toussaint, a fervent Pentecostal believer drenched in sweat, waves her arms in the air.
"Even if I die, I die with Jesus," she calls out to no one in particular. "God bless this country. God bless these people."
She has no home, and almost all her meager possessions are gone, but she says, "I don't feel like I am in trouble. Without Jesus, I would be in trouble."
The children sleep while Roche and Toussaint sing in voices fast growing hoarse from hours of hymns. A chorus builds behind them.
"If you believe in God, salvation is sure," the voices sing as one. "Oh God, open the way."
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Heart for Haiti
It's been a tragic week this past week. A 7.0 earthquake hit Haiti on Tuesday January 12th, with many aftershocks, killing thousands, burying thousands underneath its destruction, displacing so many people, leaving children without parents, parents without children, etc... it is difficult to see on the news.
Today the situation in Haiti became a little more "real" for me, as I recieved word today that missionary friends of mine, ministering in Haiti for the past 7 yrs, with their 2 young children, have not been heard from since the quake. The place they were teaching at is apparently "nothing but a pile of rubble". I'm praying for answers and wonder just whether they will be found. It's hard to not lose hope in times like this, when you see all that stands in the way of the "happy ending" you want to believe in. You see image after image on the news of the destruction, of the dead... "Will this country ever recover from this?"
It's brought again to mind the loss of my friends in the Tsunami in December of 2004, who were also missionaries. I'm thankful to have many friends who are missionaries serving around this world, and am grateful for what they do, and the difficulties they overcome to spread the word of Christ to the nations, but when tragedies like these strike they feel much closer to home for me, and the loss is felt deep. I pray that what they have done for those countries will not be forgotten, but will live on, through a child, a person they met, however it can happen! God placed them there, in those countries, for a reason, even though right now it is difficult to understand the "whys" of what has happened.
There is comfort though in knowing that God knows what is in my heart, the hurt, the sadness, the grief, the questions, the anger.....so many emotions go through a person. Yet even in all those emotions, I know that if God has taken them heavenward, as sad as I may be down here on earth, I know they are rejoicing in heaven with their Father, and I have to find strength and joy in that....somehow!
Today the situation in Haiti became a little more "real" for me, as I recieved word today that missionary friends of mine, ministering in Haiti for the past 7 yrs, with their 2 young children, have not been heard from since the quake. The place they were teaching at is apparently "nothing but a pile of rubble". I'm praying for answers and wonder just whether they will be found. It's hard to not lose hope in times like this, when you see all that stands in the way of the "happy ending" you want to believe in. You see image after image on the news of the destruction, of the dead... "Will this country ever recover from this?"
It's brought again to mind the loss of my friends in the Tsunami in December of 2004, who were also missionaries. I'm thankful to have many friends who are missionaries serving around this world, and am grateful for what they do, and the difficulties they overcome to spread the word of Christ to the nations, but when tragedies like these strike they feel much closer to home for me, and the loss is felt deep. I pray that what they have done for those countries will not be forgotten, but will live on, through a child, a person they met, however it can happen! God placed them there, in those countries, for a reason, even though right now it is difficult to understand the "whys" of what has happened.
There is comfort though in knowing that God knows what is in my heart, the hurt, the sadness, the grief, the questions, the anger.....so many emotions go through a person. Yet even in all those emotions, I know that if God has taken them heavenward, as sad as I may be down here on earth, I know they are rejoicing in heaven with their Father, and I have to find strength and joy in that....somehow!
"Father God, be with the nation of Haiti, for the people there, and around the world, searching for answers and loved ones. Let people come to You through this tragedy. Help them to rebuild, and come out stronger. I pray that we, as Christians, would not have a deaf ear to the crys of your people there, but to do whatever we can, even if it is to pray. Give us compassion for that place! Give us your heart, and your love for those people! They are your children! Help us to remember that while we may be here in Canada, or the USA, or wherever we are, in our cozy homes and eating food on the table, with our loved ones around us, to stop and think of those in Haiti who have suffered such loss that we can't even fathom! Give us humility in these times Lord, and to be thankful for what we have, and not take those for granted. In Your Name Dear Jesus, Amen!"
Monday, January 11, 2010
Lessons from an Ice Fishing Hole?
Well, who knew that something I did over 15 yrs ago would come back and haunt me today, but yet teach me another valuable lesson in life!
I was walking outside this morning, down by the river, and watched the ice slowly break and drift down the river, and as I stood there I remembered my adventures with a certain ice fishing hole when I was probably 9 yrs old.
So what's the story? Well...Manda + Ice Fishing Hole + Foot = BAD IDEA! we lived in New Hampshire at the time, at a camp, and we walked down to Ayers Lake one day, and there were some ice fishing holes. Well, being the curious sort that I am, I decided that I would stomp on them to see if they were frozen over. Well needless to say one of them wasn't, and boom, down I went into the hole! I swear I shall never live it down! My dad has used it as a sermon illustration quite a few times. I should get paid for use of my life as illustrations. Anyway, it's kind of funny now that I think about it, but at the time it sucked cause I had to walk all the way back up to camp with a frozen leg, water in my boot, and it was quite a walk back! I remember my Dad said "If you had obeyed it wouldn't have happened!" Ok so I had a rebellious side at the ripe old age of 9...who doesn't?!?! LOL!
Well, that story, my story, triggered something in me today as I was coming home from my walk. Dad had given me instruction, "Don't go near it!", but I didn't listen and did my own thing anyway. There was a huge consequence for it too, a frozen leg in a wet boot, although it could have been worse! Now isn't that like what happens when we don't listen to our Heavenly Father? Sometimes we think that we know better as to how to live our lives, and try to take things, and situations, in our own hands, even though we know that it's not what He wants us to do....and we learn the same lesson that I learned that day at the lake! It's not that God's trying to control us or anything, but instead protect us, from things that, in the end, will harm us. But ultimately we have the choice which path to take... If we take the wrong road, it's a good thing that God's there not with an "I told you so!" sort of attitude, but instead one of a guide who will bring us back to where we should be, and comfort us when our choices backfire and tell us, "It's ok!"
I guess in the end, if we want to avoid unnesessary trials and hurt.. we need to listen to God's instructions instead of our own. He knows what He's doing, and whats best for us.
I was walking outside this morning, down by the river, and watched the ice slowly break and drift down the river, and as I stood there I remembered my adventures with a certain ice fishing hole when I was probably 9 yrs old.
So what's the story? Well...Manda + Ice Fishing Hole + Foot = BAD IDEA! we lived in New Hampshire at the time, at a camp, and we walked down to Ayers Lake one day, and there were some ice fishing holes. Well, being the curious sort that I am, I decided that I would stomp on them to see if they were frozen over. Well needless to say one of them wasn't, and boom, down I went into the hole! I swear I shall never live it down! My dad has used it as a sermon illustration quite a few times. I should get paid for use of my life as illustrations. Anyway, it's kind of funny now that I think about it, but at the time it sucked cause I had to walk all the way back up to camp with a frozen leg, water in my boot, and it was quite a walk back! I remember my Dad said "If you had obeyed it wouldn't have happened!" Ok so I had a rebellious side at the ripe old age of 9...who doesn't?!?! LOL!
Well, that story, my story, triggered something in me today as I was coming home from my walk. Dad had given me instruction, "Don't go near it!", but I didn't listen and did my own thing anyway. There was a huge consequence for it too, a frozen leg in a wet boot, although it could have been worse! Now isn't that like what happens when we don't listen to our Heavenly Father? Sometimes we think that we know better as to how to live our lives, and try to take things, and situations, in our own hands, even though we know that it's not what He wants us to do....and we learn the same lesson that I learned that day at the lake! It's not that God's trying to control us or anything, but instead protect us, from things that, in the end, will harm us. But ultimately we have the choice which path to take... If we take the wrong road, it's a good thing that God's there not with an "I told you so!" sort of attitude, but instead one of a guide who will bring us back to where we should be, and comfort us when our choices backfire and tell us, "It's ok!"
I guess in the end, if we want to avoid unnesessary trials and hurt.. we need to listen to God's instructions instead of our own. He knows what He's doing, and whats best for us.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Change
Last night, I was re-reading a journal that I kept several years ago, when life for me was VERY different, and very difficult for alot of reasons. As I read through page after page, it was like I was reading about someone else, a story, and my heart broke for the girl I read about...for the hurt she went through, the self-esteem she lacked, the brokenness that came with her life, the rejection she felt... The sad thing is that "that girl" was me, and not that long ago. My life was so different then, my heart was different. I saw on those pages a person who had no hope, who was struggling to survive just one more day, who was good at playing the part in front of others, but inside was struggling to breathe! How could life have ever been that way? How did I get there? How did I make it through those times? To be honest, I don't really remember much of those times in my life thankfully! It's like a blur in my life, in my memories, which I guess is a good thing. I look at those pages, and see who I was then, see who I am now, and how far I've come in such a short time! I know that although that was a painful time of my life, it taught me so much about how strong I really am. I never thought of myself as strong. But I made it through those difficult times, and difficult relationships to become stronger. I am happier, and constantly redeiscovering who I am, what I love and don't love. I have the ability to think and feel things for myself again, and pursue things that I love, and be with people that build me up and encourage. For so many years I felt like just a shadow, not really there, I lacked so much during that time of my life, in a sense I lost myself. You know how people say that, well in reality, I know exactly what that feels like, I've been there! I never want to be there again. I survived. And the road wasn't easy, or without pain or hurt or loss, but it was worth it in the end.
I remember the days leading up to my decision to better myself. I was at my wits end, I'd had it, and I was broken in every respect, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I just had nothing left, I was tired. I knew the only thing that was going to save me was to get out. The hardest decision I've ever made, but the best decision I ever made. There was a group of friends that I confided in, that I shared my heart with, that prayed for me constantly, and built me up during those difficult days! I couldn't have done it without them. There were so many times where I would wonder if I made the right decision, that I felt like I had failed. One day I was going for a walk, and I prayed "God, if this is what I need to do, and the choice that I need to make, then make it clear, and give me peace." Time and time again over the last several years, I have been reminded that I made the right decision that day.
There's healing that still needs to happen in me, but I know that I am making head-way with it all. Day by day, I choose to make my life better, to forgive, to change, to move forward, and not let those times define who I am now. I guess that is all anyone can do...
I remember the days leading up to my decision to better myself. I was at my wits end, I'd had it, and I was broken in every respect, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I just had nothing left, I was tired. I knew the only thing that was going to save me was to get out. The hardest decision I've ever made, but the best decision I ever made. There was a group of friends that I confided in, that I shared my heart with, that prayed for me constantly, and built me up during those difficult days! I couldn't have done it without them. There were so many times where I would wonder if I made the right decision, that I felt like I had failed. One day I was going for a walk, and I prayed "God, if this is what I need to do, and the choice that I need to make, then make it clear, and give me peace." Time and time again over the last several years, I have been reminded that I made the right decision that day.
There's healing that still needs to happen in me, but I know that I am making head-way with it all. Day by day, I choose to make my life better, to forgive, to change, to move forward, and not let those times define who I am now. I guess that is all anyone can do...
Monday, January 4, 2010
New Year - Esther
Well it is a New Year, 2010, and alot of people have been telling me to start a blog. I'm not really sure what I have that is worth while sharing, but maybe the little thoughts in my mind, or lessons learned, may mean something to someone, or at least might bring a chuckle! If nothing else, then I can look back on these writings for my own purposes, and nothing more.
So this morning, I woke up, a snowy day today, came downstairs to find one of my books that I had ordered a few weeks ago! It's called "A Woman of Strength and Dignity - Esther" by Charles Swindoll. It's part of a series called Great Lives From God's Word. I love this series! I have been trying to get the whole series for quite some time now, and finally I'm getting most of them, only 1 more to get.... Joseph! I'm so excited to read them all! It's been so long since I have read a good book, it's rather sad.
I just finished reading the first chapter of my new book, and what a great opener! Swindoll talks about how though God's name is never mentioned in the entire book of Esther, His presence is in every work in this book! Swindoll writes "God's presence is not as intriguing as His absence. His voice is not as eloquent as His silence. Who of us has not longed for a word from God, searched for a glimpse of His power, or yearned for the reassurance of His presance, only to feel that He seems absent from the moment? Distant. Preoccupied. Maybe even unconcerned. Yet later, we realize how very present He was all along." How true a statement that is! I have felt like that and been through those times in my life where God has felt distant and I am standing there saying "God where are you?" I can't see Him, and sometimes don't recognize His handiwork, and sometimes I don't have enough faith to believe that He's got a plan in all the hard and difficult situations of life that I often find myself in. It's later that God reveals to me just how He brought me through, and says "See Amanda, I had it all worked out, TRUST ME!" I can't imagine what it was like for Esther, when God put her in the position of power, not knowing what the outcome would be for her, for her family, for her people!
I'm excited to read the rest of this, and see just how amazing God uses this woman, and to see God, who might not be mentioned by name in this book of the Bible, show up in some awesome ways through these events.
So this morning, I woke up, a snowy day today, came downstairs to find one of my books that I had ordered a few weeks ago! It's called "A Woman of Strength and Dignity - Esther" by Charles Swindoll. It's part of a series called Great Lives From God's Word. I love this series! I have been trying to get the whole series for quite some time now, and finally I'm getting most of them, only 1 more to get.... Joseph! I'm so excited to read them all! It's been so long since I have read a good book, it's rather sad.
I just finished reading the first chapter of my new book, and what a great opener! Swindoll talks about how though God's name is never mentioned in the entire book of Esther, His presence is in every work in this book! Swindoll writes "God's presence is not as intriguing as His absence. His voice is not as eloquent as His silence. Who of us has not longed for a word from God, searched for a glimpse of His power, or yearned for the reassurance of His presance, only to feel that He seems absent from the moment? Distant. Preoccupied. Maybe even unconcerned. Yet later, we realize how very present He was all along." How true a statement that is! I have felt like that and been through those times in my life where God has felt distant and I am standing there saying "God where are you?" I can't see Him, and sometimes don't recognize His handiwork, and sometimes I don't have enough faith to believe that He's got a plan in all the hard and difficult situations of life that I often find myself in. It's later that God reveals to me just how He brought me through, and says "See Amanda, I had it all worked out, TRUST ME!" I can't imagine what it was like for Esther, when God put her in the position of power, not knowing what the outcome would be for her, for her family, for her people!
I'm excited to read the rest of this, and see just how amazing God uses this woman, and to see God, who might not be mentioned by name in this book of the Bible, show up in some awesome ways through these events.
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